


The Bad Guy and The Cuckoo Lander

by KingFranPetty



Category: xkcd
Genre: Bad Jokes, Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Fun, In-Jokes, Jokes, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Out of Character, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: Black Hat Guy and The Girl who stole his hat are endgame OTP but I'm a multi shipper.
Relationships: Black Hat/Baret Guy (xkcd)
Kudos: 1





	The Bad Guy and The Cuckoo Lander

I can nearly remember Highschool. Back when I had a crush on a stick person with a black hat and another stick man with a white baret. Time marched on and everything is distant now. Regardless, I can say one thing.

I don't miss Highschool.

Now that we got the backstory out of the way, I think we should be moving on to the actual story.

The Black Hat Guy was reading the texts from his girlfriend for their plan. While he knew exactly the plan, he read and reread them. I'm sure if you asked him, he would probably pull some nonsense from his hat to avoid the question. However as I'm the narration in this story, I can see the answer. See, The Black Hat did it because he loves his girlfriend and misses being away from her even if it is a short time. Yet let me not mislead you, if there's a heart inside him then it's not human. No beating red heart of humanity could be in there, as he simply isn't human as you or I understand.

As the antagonistic force stood by the brick wall, another man came skipping over. This man was wearing a white baret. The White Baret Guy noticed the individual by the brick wall, and immediately joyed, "Hi!! It's me! Do you remember?!" The Black Hat Guy paused his scrolling and looked over. He instantly regretted doing so as he realized exactly who it was. The White Baret swooned and swirled and swayed in cheer, "I know we haven't had the best relationship since... That one time. But I really do miss you!!" If I had to detail the pair, it's "An unstoppable force of silly meeting an immovable object of mischief."

Which is to say, neither of them should be in the same room together as whatever happens next will likely be uncontrollable. The silly went over to him, displaying a picture. He insisted, "Look. It's our spawn." The mischief couldn't help but look. The picture was of a man in a white hat. The man seemed surprisingly familiar. Black Hat Guy commented, "I think I've seen him before." White Baret Guy thought to himself then looked around. Finally they gaze both fell on The White Hat Guy. White Hat Guy saw that he had been spotted and ran away.

Soon following him was the baret who shouted, "Wait! You don't understand!! I AM YOUR FATHER!!" Still the heel stayed in the spot on the brick wall, going back to the texts on his phone. He sighed, happy to know none of this was canon. Wait... How did you know that?

Well, I'm not interested in finding out if he can kill a narrator. 

Good Day Everyone!

Fin.


End file.
